d o double g

it's been a minute but i wanted to post this video. theres a lot of mixed reviews about this but i think its cool that he did something different.......it reminds me of when i was younger and i went to six flags with my mom and we made a music video to mc hammers, "u cant touch this". which at the time was high quality technology....man im old

wow

omg

wish

my wish list is accumulating again :)
when i dont have money i always create this wish list of things i feel like i cant live without..

vera bradley has been stalking me

le purse

le wallet

theyre only like 80 bucks for all of it but that is like 2,080 dollars to me now :(

just wanted to post it

virgo

my personal horoscope:

Enlarging your scope

In most areas of your life, you are able to act much more decisively than usual, especially in dealing with others. You know where you stand, and you ask others to let you know where they stand. And despite your self-assertiveness, you are able to create a balance in a group so that everyone benefits from working together and no one feels dissatisfied. Under this influence you will want to enlarge the scope of your activities somewhat. It will not be enough to express your energies as you have in the past. At this time you want to find new expressions, and you will look for people to share in this. For this reason you want to be with active people who have enough energy to go along with your plans. On the physical level, this is usually a period of good health. wow... so true :)

padre

today is father's day.

i have decided to blog today because i think it might be therapeutic for me. i have a lot of issues with fathers and the way the ones that have been in my life have affected me and my daughter. my own father has always been a fantastic financial supplier in my life. i have never been without any material thing because of him. but when it came to a stable father figure ... not so much. my father traveled monday through friday and i saw him for two days every week. which made my relationship with my mother cramped and stressed. i guess what they say is right , if you don't have a stable father figure in your life then you tend to marry or date men who are just like that .. emotionally unavailable. or if you actually do meet someone who is you're not aware enough to notice that they are good for you. so you push them away and search for some buttface to hurt you and make you question yourself. so that it feels comfortable....normal even. crazy how life is. my daughter's father is m.i.a. and in a way its good but its really not. we live 1000 miles away from each other so it makes for hard meetings but he still should call to talk to her or help out.

i know i sound bitter but like i said blogging might help me deal with my issues and see where the cycle can be cut. i feel like when you realize something then you cant blame anything or anyone for them anymore. time to fix it. which is the current road that i just turned on.

on a different note, happy father's day to those who step up to the gift you were given. thank you.

virgo

This will be a very favorable day for all kinds of communications and personal interchange with others. Even routine connections with friends and neighbors will be very fruitful, for you will be able to get through to each other with greater clarity. This is an excellent day for communicating something important to another person, in which it is necessary to be precisely clear. If you have to present the views of a group and your ideas must be in tune with theirs, this will be a favorable time. But this is also a good day to examine your own goals and expectations. This influence favors all types of commercial transactions, buying and selling or negotiating deals favorably. Today is fine for traveling for any purpose, although you will be best served if it stimulates your mind or has an educational purpose.

stuff

so..

i just wanted to blog a bit tonight about some random things going on in my life.

i got my new upgraded cell phone today. which is cool. it has a music player and all on it. woot!
on an emotional note: its crazy to think that 2 years have passed already. wow. so much has changed and happened in that time. i can honestly say i am not the same woman i was then. i know what you're thinking , its just a damn cell phone, but it represents more to me.

my job is cool. there is no organization at all there but it is definitely fulfilling.


i will have my certificate in childcare by December and all of the sudden i wanna think hard about if this is really what i want to do. crazy...but true.


i am going to start the dance class i keep saying i am going to start on Sunday. which makes me so unbelievably happy. anyone who knows me knows that is where the other part of my heart is along with my little malley girl. music and dance is my ultimate serenity. and i am not going to forget that no matter what.

like i said just wanted to blog a bit. i am going to try and get back into this. although next quarter i will have 4 classes plus a full time job. so i will try. :) stay tuned my 3 viewers... you know who you are ;)

BIG POST LATER :)

makes me wonder

i cant tell you how happy i am that my band is back....i have so missed them.


this song is so them but fresh and im so proud that they didnt change....

the video is very nice as well. :)

show me

man i love this song.....my favorite one of the movie... i sing the hell out it :)

me

MY PERSONAL HOROSCOPE :
Learning to trust
***
Valid during many months: Under this influence you will become increasingly aware that all the truly important events in your life occur without your conscious intervention. This will help you to act with more calm and composure in those areas where you had difficulties in the past or found it hard to make any headway. You should now find it easier to deal with things in a relaxed manner, not brooding so morosely over your own failings and inadequacies. This will also help you to be more understanding when others make mistakes, making you more forgiving.
Most people's perception contains blind spots which shield them from some of their deeper and more complex emotions which would otherwise reduce their ability to cope with everyday life. Under this influence you could have the opportunity to come to terms with some of the darker and more hidden influences of your nature, without falling into a state of despair and depression. You are also now more able to get to the bottom of any sexual problems you may have. Your increased intuition will help you to receive and interpret the images and dreams rising from your unconsious which would otherwise remain unnoticed. These will help you to become aware of hurt which you have suppressed since your childhood and adolescence, which can initiate the process of healing. And, provided that you can remain trusting and open, you may now receive healing energy from a wide variety of sources.

apologize

this is the newest song to consume me. i love it. its off the new timbaland cd which is pretty good. if you know me its important to listen to the whole song and really hear what it says....you know who im talking to. so take 3 minutes out of your life and listen to a beautiful song..... :)

is it wrong that everytime this girl puts "its too late" she writes "to late" and i have to supress the urge to email her and correct her? :) i cant help it...

dance

so we have been watching these planet earth shows that are starting to consume my life. these birds are some of the coolest things i have seen. the one that dances and cleans is my fave. :) you should check them out if you have the discovery channel.

i will be posting soon about some things so stay tuned :)

look mr. j

awwww......yes. i got you baby. :)

a song

on my way home today this song came on the radio and i thought it was sooo beautiful ...so lullaby like.. just wanted to share with you. and the chick in here is .....wow...

if i was your man - joe




girl im so tired of games
I just wanna settle down
I swear to you ive changed
baby why you buggin now
I kno that I put you through hell
you deserve to be with someone else
but I gotta be straight up (straight up)
girl I just wanna kiss and make up (make up)
oo we’ve been through a lot of things
how do you throw that away
you were the heart of me
cant believe you let it break
tell me why you wont let him go
you can say what you want but I kno
baby no more lies
ima keep it real this time

help me understand what im saying
ain't gettin' through
why i cant be your man when id give up the world for you
girl ill do the best I can
love you forever that’s what ill do
if I was your man
if I was your man
if I was your man

got rid of everything
that I knew was hurting you
my hustle in the streets
gave that up for you too
don’t want nothing else in the way
I just wanna make sure that you’ll stay
baby no more lies
ima do it right this time


cant live without you anymore
baby I kno that you’re worth fighting for
they say that youre still in love with me
in my arms is where you need to be
cant live without you anymore
baby I kno that you’re worth fighting for
they say that youre still in love with me
in my arms is where you need to me

help me understand what im saying
ain't gettin' through
why i cant be your man when id give up the world for you
girl ill do the best I can
love you forever that’s what ill do
if I was your man
if I was your man o

letting go of fear

Death has been around me lately and I have to say that it is seriously bringing me down. I have lost 3 friends in 3 years and a couple acquaintances too.

I'm one of those people who thinks all the time.

I know everyone thinks but I am literally consumed by my thoughts and it’s very hard for me to pull myself out of it. I am a realist, which of course is a person who tends to view or represent things as they really are. So, for me death is death...final... and thaings like that can convince me to think what the the hell is the point of paying a bill or getting your nails done or getting up for that matter. A friend of mine died Saturday in his sleep and no one saw it coming. Life is so scary as it is without thinking that you could just fall asleep and not wake up. I am trying to take the other road and live my life instead of acting like I’m dead already…but it’s hard for me. I yearn to let go of fear.

Because of this I have been asking myself questions concerning my current place in life.
Like:
· Am I happy?
· Am I on the right path?
· Is this the life I really want?
· Am I wasting time?

Crazy……I could sit here for hours thinking and obsessing over this stuff.

I found these steps online..... gonna try and use them:

1. Remember what you've always wanted. What did you dream about being and doing when you were a child? Or an invincible teenager? Or an idealistic college student? At many points in our lives, when we encounter obstacles, we tend to settle. What have you settled for? What did you give up on when you settled?
2. Be honest with yourself. Pretending that your life is great when it's really not is only going to make things worse. Sure, you've got plenty to be grateful for, but there's nothing wrong with seeking more growth and fulfillment. Don't ever feel that by wanting more, you're forsaking what you already have.
3. Write down your goals. Where do you want to be in 5 years? 10 years? What do you want to accomplish before you die? Make lists and timelines. Keep them close to you, and read them every day, preferably when you wake up.
4. Consider making a big change. Switch careers, move to a different area, or end a relationship that's bringing you down. Stop your life from becoming one big routine.
5. Expand your comfort zone. Do something that's completely out of character. Shave your head, wear a miniskirt, try karaoke, do a cartwheel barefoot on the grass, etc. Be spontaneous and daring. Even if it has nothing to do with your goals, stepping out of your comfort zone will help you get used to facing your fears, especially people's reactions when you do something they'd never expect you to do.
6. Remember that it is your life to live and so you should choose what is best for you.

Tips
The key is to stay focused on your dreams, no matter how far you may be from accomplishing them. If you don't remember what you want out of life, it's awfully easy to lose your way.
Focus on what matters the most to you and pursue it unmistakably to the point of being able to grasp only a moment.
It is better to have experienced than not to.
Some people believe that everything you experience was meant to be experienced by you, precisely as it happens. Consider if it is helpful for you to believe this.
Don't ever think "It's too late," or "I'm too old." It's never too late, and you can never be too old to find happiness.

pilobolus

check these out..theyre only like 20 seconds a piece:

the devil wears prada:

the oscar silhouette:

little miss sunshine:

snakes on a plane:

winner

ladies and gentlemen....

may i have your attention please...

thursday afternoon whilst i was working my job of el lamo

i called in to a radio station and won tickets to

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!!!

yes ...

words cannot express

:)

this is my personal horoscope for tomorrow that is read by my date and time of my birth....


An evaluation of goals
***
Valid during many months: This is a challenging time in your life. You will have to make many choices about what areas of your life to emphasize. Will you work to build up a new career or continue to build upon a current one? Will you work to make your personal life as satisfying as possible? Will you work collectively with many other people or by yourself?

Often there is an "alienation crisis" with this influence, a sudden feeling of being cut off from everyone else, as if you have spent too much energy pursuing purely personal goals. This in turn generates loneliness and a feeling of being distant from others, even loved ones. Or you may suddenly feel that you no longer have the strength to go on in the direction you have chosen. Fears of your own inadequacies may distort your perspective. All of this is most likely to happen if you have neglected personal relationships in your life. You cannot go on forever without supportive emotional relationships, and you may have been trying to do so.

Sometimes this influence can have the opposite result, and you discover that various personal entanglements have been interfering with the pursuit of your valid goals. In this case you will break off relationships and gain the freedom to go your own way. The issue here is the balance between personal relationships and advancement in life.

On another tack, this period can test your choice of goals. You may encounter opposition from others that forces you to examine whether your goals are really valid for you. If they are, the conflict with other persons or against trying circumstances will be useful. But if you find that your heart is not really in the path you have chosen, you may have to make adjustments and change your course of action. It is far better to do this now than several years from now, when you may be overcommitted to an inappropriate course and discover that you are trapped. Now is the time to change. It may not be pleasant, but it is possible.

wow

What in the holy hell has happened................

"After shaving her head and getting several tattoos, Britney Spears apparently went to Cedards-Sinai Medical Center in L.A. according to ONTD. She was seen going in and looked disturbed. She was wearing a dark wig and only stayed for a while. She wasn’t admitted, she left and went back home.
Earlier in the evening, Britney lost it at a beauty salon in Tarzana. She asked the hairdresser to shave her head and when the woman refused, she grabbed the razor and did it herself. How G.I. Jane of her! She then went to a tattoo parlor in Sherman Oaks where she was described as being crazy and losing it.
A source said, “She wasn’t making sense at all and you could tell she’s not in a good place at all, and that she is totally freaking out.”
Britney then got a black-white-and-pink cross tattooed on her lower hip and red-and-pink lips on her wrist. The price: $80.
“She was a nightmare to deal with. She was screaming and flipping out from the pain and wiggling her body all around.”
She apparently had NyQuil stains all over her. After she left, she apparently visited the hospital and then went home." - dlisted

over

this song keeps running through my little head...i like it i think.

my vids

i just about peed myself when i watched this on my tivo last night.....

loved this one too.....

but this one is my fave.... :)

everyone knows i think this man is fabulous but this video is a bit too hard core for me.

of the 3782 times ive listened to this song on my ipod i never envisioned justin using the f bomb and then a car blowing up at the end.... but whatever... he fine.

and this song sticks with me for some reason...

Should've known better when you came around

That you were gonna make me cry

It's breaking my heart to watch you run around

'Cause I know that you're living a lie

"Soul Meets Body"
I want to live where soul meets body
And let the sun wrap its arms around me
A nd bathe my skin in water cool and cleansing
And feel, feel what its like to be new
Cause in my head there’s a greyhound station
Where I send my thoughts to far off destinations
So they may have a chance of finding a place
where they’re far more suited than here
I cannot guess what we'll discover
We turn the dirt with our palms cupped like shovels
But I know our filthy hands can wash one another’s
And not one speck will remain
I do believe it’s true
That there are roads left in both of our shoes
If the silence takes you
Then I hope it takes me too
So brown eyes I hold you near
Cause you’re the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
Where soul meets body
Where soul meets body
Where soul meets body
I do believe it’s true
That there are roads left in both of our shoes
If the silence takes you
Then I hope it takes me too
So brown eyes I hold you near
Cause you’re the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere

hey

"Say It Right"

In the day

In the night

Say it right

Say it all

You either got it

Or you don't

You either stand

or you fall

When your will is broken

When it slips from your hand

When there's no time for joking

There's a hole in the plan

Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me

No you don't mean nothing at all to me

But you got what it takes to set me free

Oh you could mean everything to me

I can't say that I'm not lost and at fault

I can't say that I don't love the light and the dark

I can't say that I don't know that I am alive

And all of what I feel I could show

You tonight you tonight

Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me

No you don't mean nothing at all to me

But you got what it takes to set me free

Oh you could mean everything to me

From my hands I could give you

Something that I made

From my mouth I could sing you another brick that I laid

From my body I could show you a place God knows

You should know the space is holy

Do you really want to go?