jesus

Before I get into my little rant, let me just say that I am thankful that I was blessed with some intelligence and class.

With that being said,

WHAT THE SHIT IS THE MATTER WITH THIS BITCH!!!!!!!!??????

Britney "irreversibly brain-damaged" Spears and her "catch" Kevin Federline are making a nativity scene in their son's room and making him the baby Jesus.

Dude, I couldn't make this shit up if I wanted to.

"It cost an absolute fortune. But at least she didn't have to buy a baby Jesus - because Sean is playing the part", the interviewer said.

(Sean is her son's name for all that do not know)

Are you freaking kidding me?! Yeah, Brit, thank god you SAVED money on the baby Jesus. Brit, you could've saved a ton of money by not acting like an idiot and building a f*cking nativity scene in your son's room. She's got like donkeys and horses and shit..........in her son's room.

It's like watching a car crash very, very slowly.

k-fed at work

A sample from a douchebags mind.

Durdurururudurdurdurururdur...I need more cigarettes......durdurururudurdurur.

Durdur.........I got them...durdurduruuduurrrrdur..right, left, right, left.....keep head down...durdurdurdurdurdrrrruuuurrr.

Durdurdur...those cornrows were too tizzight I'm glad I took them out.....durdurdururururudurururr.

magic stick

So, you're looking for a great Christmas present?

Look no further....

50 cent (pronounced fitty cent...........for real, I was corrected at a club once.....it wasn't pretty) is making a version of his hoo ha to share with the world. A motorized one, mind you. Yep, he has decided that it should be waterproof so that women can "utilize it" in the club........I mean tub.


He says and I quote,"Blue is my favourite color, so it would probably be blue. But I don't know how big. I don't know if big is better because I'm not sure a man wants his woman playing with a really big dildo."




If they put this picture on the front he won't have to worry too much about women using it as much as men.

dumb

Britney, Britney, Britney.....tsk tsk......damn girl........think.

So, the feud between Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears has ceased.

Apparently, Christina sent Britney a gift basket. I'm thinking it was probably full of soap, a hairbrush and some coupons. Britney called her to say thanks. Nothing too crazy there but it goes on to say that Britney sent her a book on how to keep your marriage happy, a self-help book..................let that sink in.

First of all, is she like on some mission to make herself look irreversibly brain damaged every day of her life? How you gonna send a book on happy marriage tips to someone when you have the most pathetic attempt of one yourself? That's like Michael Jackson sending a book to people about better sleepovers. Yeah, go fish, Brit. Try again.


da source yo.

like johnny cash

So.........this is Mr. J.

Mr J. is a badass photographer.

Mr. J has a site that I would like for you to look at.

Mr. J has some photographs on there that he took along with this one which I think is hot as shit.

I would like it if you could comment on them in here.

You have to have an account there to comment.

Mr. J is also fiiiiiiyyyiihhhhiiiiinneee.

Click his hot ass picture to see his ass crazy talent.

I mean it bitches. Click.

damn bitch

Ok.....so when we went to the BEP concert at the begining of this month this is what we saw.....


I didn't take these pictures at the concert but they were taken this week.


I wasn't going to say anything about the way she looked because it would seem as if I was just jealous of her due to the fact that I'm a girl. Understand this.....I am very down with a chick thats hot, ok? Fergie, as far as I can remember is hot...... Fiiiiiyyyiinnnee if you will. This is supposed to be Fergie.......ok......ok it is Fergie.......but I almost could swear it was her mother or some sort of monkey bat thing crossed with a yoda baby. She's always denied rumors about having work done.....well, if she hasn't, then maybe she should.

Here's something to help forget the image above.

You're welcome.

ass crazy

**Warning** This entry is about me so if you don't know me or hell even if you do you might get bored. Thank you.

My Thanksgiving weekend was full of fun crazy. I managed to make an incredible Thanksgiving dinner that fed my imeadiate family that consisted of 9 people, which may not mean shit to you but for me it's a big deal. I am the baby of the family and everyone came to my house for the first time and ate. It was awesome. Mr. J came by after all that and ate and we played Madden 2005 on da box and I hate to say it babe but I whooped........dat..............ass.

Work was absolutely too much. I hate it.

I played a little poker on Friday and won half the pot. It was crazy cause I was the only girl there. It was with all my buddies and I beat them. It was bitter sweet. But fun as hell.

Other than that everthing is great and I can't complain......

mrs God warrior

AAWW HEELLLLL YESSS!!!

My favorite reality bitch, Margret Perrin ,will be on Jay Leno tommorow night!!!!!!!!!

Don't miss this. This will be her last 2 minutes of "fame" so enjoy it..

Believe it and click

I hope she wears the shirt I sent her before. She looks so relaxed in it....don't you think?

control

It's Miss Fatty if you're nasty.

I mean DAYYAMMMnn Janet. Remember these days?

Janet stop eating....ok? Food won't love you back................see?

turkey lurkey

Peace out until I feel like posting.

Mad hoff props to rumpy

hot

I am love, love, lovin' me some Duff boots. Not too sure on my view on her but that bitch has some hot ass boots. If I were her that's all I would've worn out there on stage. What.....? It's not like she couldn't use the popularity.

hey ladies...get funky

One of my favorite shows just came out with their new season DVD.

No, really the Golden Girls just dropped their season 3 DVD in stores yesterday in NYC. I love them and I hope they live to see the next season.

look

It's funny how he's wearing that shirt with her.......when she turns around he must start spitting mad rhymes to distract her from reading it....that or throw a bag of cheetos in the other direction.

I don't know if this picture is new or old I just love the shirt.

smoke and mirrors

You know if they actually were this happy......I would be nice. But they're not so I won't.

This is what they really look like.

If they really wanted to be out of the spotlight all they would have to do is stand by a trash can. I don't think you could see them.

hey you

This video and song is badass.

Not saying he's super hot but there is something about Jonathan Davis that is so damn sexy.

Click the Twisted Transistor video.

Do what I say.

me

I was asked recently to update on my life once in a while.

Sure.

My life is steady now, I guess that would be the correct term for it. My weekend was fun. I watched a die hard redneck dressed from head to toe in Dale Earnhardt Jr. gear, who, by the way was drinking a Budweiser, walk into a club and sit at a table all by himself. I then watched him after a couple of those Budweisers squat down and wave his hands like a hard core gangster from the streets on the dance floor. It was, without a doubt, the last thing I would've expected to see him do. I got my ass beat in bowling by the great Mr. J and slapped a stripper on her ass with a dollar bill......whaaaaaat?! It was nice weekend. That is all.

allllriiight

This is why I love Family Guy so much.................randomness.

Yes...click it.

You need to let it load first...

pine

And nnnooooow.........a new section called, who has a crush on me.....

David "HOLY SHIT" Beckham

Adrian "DAYAMM" Brody

For real guys. The phone calls I can handle, but the crying and claiming you're pregnant is a little much.....we've been through this.

nice socks

Just when I think it can't get any better.......GQ, ok, of all magazines has made Kevin Federline 2005 Man of the House. It seems as though he is getting rewarded for being a piece of shit husband.

That's awesome.

The little article goes on to say,"K-Fed cemented his role as America’s premier slacker spouse/sex symbol." Ummm.......? What? Sex symbol huh? More like a use birth control symbol. I'm not even going to go into all the reasons this shit is wrong.

Look at yourself Kevin....almost like looking into the future huh?

eat it

Hey fat ass. Put down the sandwich and quit eating.





I like her bra though....wait......oh....bras are for breasts ...my bad.

wobidy - wobidy

I just wanted to share this DAYAMMMMMM moment with all of you real quick. It's Gisele.

And this one.

Miss Lopez if you're nasty.

Look at all of them here at Pirrelli's calendar site.

...................wow

Guess who I be?

Yo....Peep my new rolls homies. Yo, Yo I'm livin' laaarge G.

Click it to see who this hard-core rapper is.

My God. What an ass hat.

Celebrate

Even though 200 visits may not seem like a lot to everyone....it is to a first time blogger. Yay bitches. I say yay.

Now bask...bask in my glory.

Ha.

I was having a crazy night last night and was sent this to cheer me up. I about pissed myself. Seriously. I had to check.

You have to click it.

Mad ninja props to Mr. J

Call me now for your free reading....

So, my favorite couple are in the news again today, imagine that. Britney Spears is probably gonna make another K-Fedette.

Wow.

According to In Touch magazine apparently she talked to a "psychic" and they let her know that she would be pregnant in the next year. It goes on to say that she always consults them before any "major events" in her life...................really?

Did the psychic tell her that she would have to cut off her husband from all her hard earned money and probably kiss her career away when she decided to marry Douche bag, I mean K-Fed. Hmmmmm.....Because if she would've come to psychic 'thatgirl' aka common sense, I could've told her that she would probably be broke within two years of marrying a "Kevin Federline". That bitch needs to quit giving her money away to the "Great Miss Cleo" and save it. Because food stamps may buy cheetos Brit, but they won't buy diapers or Starbucks. And then what cha gonna do, huh?

I mean seriously Britney, if you're reading this and I 'm certain that you are no doubt, think. OK? Think before you act girl. Please. But, I mean you're not going to listen to me, you never do. So, keep this look up...it really works for you. Hell, I feel better about myself daily now when I read a magazine. I think knocked up Waffle House waitress is in this winter.......I mean you looked like absolute shit before. Remember? Oh, no ...you don't? Well, here let me remind you and everybody else peanut.

Yeah, babe. Have another one as soon as possible.

Just a side note to all looking at this saying, "Oh, my God! You are so mean , she like, just had a baby." What the shit ever. This bitch is known for her looks. That's why she is a gizillionare. Brush your hair, put on clothes that fit, get to the gym and have that tumor removed. (Yes, by tumor, I mean douche bag and by douche bag I mean ..... yep, you got it.)



le source

d-i-v-o-r-c-e

So, I have to decided to divorce my husband today.

Yeah....that's him. Trust me, he's not going to be happy. Almost as unhappy as I am about the new season of Nip/Tuck. The reason that I said yes to Dr. Christian Troy a.k.a. Julian McMahon in the first place is because he was an asshole who was a sex addict. But all of the sudden, after all that time I waited for him to get season 3 wrapped up, he comes back as a wuss. I mean he's all nice and where the shit is all the sex? He's all I love blah this, I love blah that. What the hell has happened to my show? He's probably just acting out because i've been so busy with school and...well.....stuff....like.........like this blog. But that's just tough. He needs to get his shit together or else I'm out.

Oh and don't think I don't know about Kimber.

Yeah. She's just a phase. A long one....but a phase nonetheless.


Seriously though, I want my show back. The whole point of Nip/Tuck is all of the racy drama. Not this, "I like the way nice feels and smells" shit. You've been called out FX. I'll be waiting.

testing...1...2....8

Maury freakin' Povich.

So, I'm watching my new addiction, le Maury Povich Show. It ceases to amaze me how people will go on this shit not once but 8 times to find out which of the 40 guys they slept with in the neighborhood has fathered their baby.

For real, the show today was about DNA tests...imagine that. But it's for the EIGHTH time for three tramps. Yes, I said 8 freakin' times. Now listen, I'm gonna break this shit down for you.

People aren't looking at the whole picture. That's 8 guys in one month.....8 guys people, and they still aren't the father. That means she had sex with all these men with a possibility of at least one more.....in a month. Maybe I'm old fashioned and don't carry the whore gene but DAMN. Who has sex like that and doesn't get paid for it? That's about every three days you sleep with a new guy. What a life.

But hell, keep it up. It's great entertainment for this bitch and apparently Mr. Povich....look at his face.....he loves this shit.

el douche

K-Fed time.


Click this please.


AHAHHAAAAHA....
In case you couldn't understand him, he said, "durdurduurdduuur. durrrdurrrr. basketball. durrdurdur. I am a big douche."

He's blaming the broken arm on "basketball". Wow.



What a guy.

pangs

And for my next act.....Kate Moss.

Whatcha goin' do with all that breast, all that .....oh wait.....nevermind.

vir to the go

"Those with a mind like a steel trap need to find suitable prey."

This is my horoscope today. Just wanted to post it. Nothing funny here.

yo

I found out what made him so appealing to Britney and why he'll make it as a rapper. Don't forget to call him daddy.

Seriously, he said that.

word up

"He was really going for it, throwing some seriously mad moves, when he suddenly slipped and landed on his butt. His arm got caught and he has fractured his left hand"

Click here to see which white trash wanna-be rapper this is......you get one guess. Rhymes with brain dead.

Since the beginning of the Spederline thing I have been disappointed. It's almost like she just woke up and said...."Hmm..? Ya know, I look too freaking hot and I date guys who like to take baths and brush their teeth.....yeah, I don't wanna do that anymore. I feel like hookin' up with Slappy, the baitshop boy and getting pregos and marrying him. Cause you know I don't need all this money and hell, I hate looking this hot. Oh yeah, and I don't want all this money I worked for either." Trust me, add a cigarette puff and exhale every other sentence and you got it.

And all this rubbish about awww, poor Britney. Mean ole K-Fed is treating her so bad after she had his baby.

HELLLLOOO??!! I mean it's not like he has a past of knocking bitches up and leaving them. Oh,...he does? Hmmmm..?

I don't feel sorry for her. I feel sorry for all of the K-babies that had to share white trash dancer DNA with their dead beat father.

This is how women get called morons and stupid. The whole theory of, "Well, he won't do that to me." Yes, stupid. He will do it to you. Especially if you're worth seventy-eight bizillion dollars.

13 minutes and counting...

This is from ebay. This is the bobble head doll that is on there for sale. Wow. She looks tainted to me now.

That bitch should've used that money fo dat dare gizzaaaap. Call me shallow Margaret. I don't care. But I dare you to say it without spitting or whistling at me.

tainted

So...unless you live in a mailbox you have heard of the poster child for Valium, Mrs. Margaret Perrin, who was recently on Trading Spouses. I am an avid fan of reality t.v. and I think that was by far the best moment in reality show history. There's just something about a crazy bitch that makes me feel warm inside. Anyways, I sent her a shirt and she promised to wear it because it wasn't tainted. Here's the picture she sent back.... along with a King James bible with my name on it.... not a witch book.

Watch batshit crazy lady here.


thanks to "rumpy"...

umm....

So it's time to introduce myself I am told. This is me. I like lamp.

darksided

From time to time I will post things that are bad ass to me. Today is that day. Enjoy it bitches.

Funniest thing on t.v. this week. Hands down.

The music kickin' in my ipod.

Best blog. Besides this one obviously.

yes

So, I had a pretty eventful weekend. I went to a basketball game and had some fun. It was my first game. Mr. J went with me. We left early and ate some healthy food at the Varsity. But get this, on the way home, all of the sudden a huge.... and I mean hu-ge meteor shot through the sky. Laugh it up. It was a friggin meteor and no, we were sober. We were like uhhhhh did you just see that and we freaked but then it was old news. So we're getting off our exit (which is only like 7 miles away from where we were) and then we see a fire. Not a fire..... a F-I-R-E. It was right by the hospital. We decided to drive by it and follow the cops and fire engines, but they couldn't get to it because of all the storage building thingy's. It was sad for a while then we pulled up on the hill and just watched it. I think it was the meteor shaving stuff. But, it was probably just a bum in the woods who made a fire and it got out of control....which I think is sadder than the other thing by far. Poor little bum guy.

Peep my fire pic from my little bad ass phone.

your beat is nice

Ok, so Tuesday night was so awesome. Black eyed peas were absolutely amazing! Gwen was...ehhh..ok. She was a good performer but the music was blah. Even though the pictures don't show it, we had great seats, my camera doesn't zoom or I just suck at taking pictures when I'm shakin' dat ass. My brother and I had the best time. I hardly ever get to spend time with him because his wife is a ..............well, I don't like her. She gets all crazy if he stops over like to hang out with me. Women are stupid. Bar none. That is all. Peep my pics.