self aware

here lately i have been meeting a lot of people and i must say there is a sadness to one with no self awareness.


its not something that comes naturally to most people. i for one definitely had to realize exactly who i am. accept things that i cant control and work on things that matter. i will always be the girl.......(sigh)


.....will always be the woman that will find a way to spill something on me, no matter how careful i am. i am the one who will find a way to trip and fall over a pencil. i make stupid comments at inopportune times. i will always put too much on my plate and burn out.. and most importantly, can see a person for what they really are....no matter how much i cater to the image they portray. which makes me look foolish to others, but i see you.

its about time you did.

treinta

a year almost...

wow. this used to be my thing. but i got distracted...but thats over.

thank God for unanswered prayers.

theres a plan for everyone and everything. i firmly believe that....finally.

never in my life have i been more awake and felt alive like i have now.

thirty is by far been my favorite age :)

i am a happy one.


Heres a song a friend of mine sent me....just because.

d o double g

it's been a minute but i wanted to post this video. theres a lot of mixed reviews about this but i think its cool that he did something different.......it reminds me of when i was younger and i went to six flags with my mom and we made a music video to mc hammers, "u cant touch this". which at the time was high quality technology....man im old

wow

omg

wish

my wish list is accumulating again :)
when i dont have money i always create this wish list of things i feel like i cant live without..

vera bradley has been stalking me

le purse

le wallet

theyre only like 80 bucks for all of it but that is like 2,080 dollars to me now :(

just wanted to post it

virgo

my personal horoscope:

Enlarging your scope

In most areas of your life, you are able to act much more decisively than usual, especially in dealing with others. You know where you stand, and you ask others to let you know where they stand. And despite your self-assertiveness, you are able to create a balance in a group so that everyone benefits from working together and no one feels dissatisfied. Under this influence you will want to enlarge the scope of your activities somewhat. It will not be enough to express your energies as you have in the past. At this time you want to find new expressions, and you will look for people to share in this. For this reason you want to be with active people who have enough energy to go along with your plans. On the physical level, this is usually a period of good health. wow... so true :)

padre

today is father's day.

i have decided to blog today because i think it might be therapeutic for me. i have a lot of issues with fathers and the way the ones that have been in my life have affected me and my daughter. my own father has always been a fantastic financial supplier in my life. i have never been without any material thing because of him. but when it came to a stable father figure ... not so much. my father traveled monday through friday and i saw him for two days every week. which made my relationship with my mother cramped and stressed. i guess what they say is right , if you don't have a stable father figure in your life then you tend to marry or date men who are just like that .. emotionally unavailable. or if you actually do meet someone who is you're not aware enough to notice that they are good for you. so you push them away and search for some buttface to hurt you and make you question yourself. so that it feels comfortable....normal even. crazy how life is. my daughter's father is m.i.a. and in a way its good but its really not. we live 1000 miles away from each other so it makes for hard meetings but he still should call to talk to her or help out.

i know i sound bitter but like i said blogging might help me deal with my issues and see where the cycle can be cut. i feel like when you realize something then you cant blame anything or anyone for them anymore. time to fix it. which is the current road that i just turned on.

on a different note, happy father's day to those who step up to the gift you were given. thank you.

virgo

This will be a very favorable day for all kinds of communications and personal interchange with others. Even routine connections with friends and neighbors will be very fruitful, for you will be able to get through to each other with greater clarity. This is an excellent day for communicating something important to another person, in which it is necessary to be precisely clear. If you have to present the views of a group and your ideas must be in tune with theirs, this will be a favorable time. But this is also a good day to examine your own goals and expectations. This influence favors all types of commercial transactions, buying and selling or negotiating deals favorably. Today is fine for traveling for any purpose, although you will be best served if it stimulates your mind or has an educational purpose.

stuff

so..

i just wanted to blog a bit tonight about some random things going on in my life.

i got my new upgraded cell phone today. which is cool. it has a music player and all on it. woot!
on an emotional note: its crazy to think that 2 years have passed already. wow. so much has changed and happened in that time. i can honestly say i am not the same woman i was then. i know what you're thinking , its just a damn cell phone, but it represents more to me.

my job is cool. there is no organization at all there but it is definitely fulfilling.


i will have my certificate in childcare by December and all of the sudden i wanna think hard about if this is really what i want to do. crazy...but true.


i am going to start the dance class i keep saying i am going to start on Sunday. which makes me so unbelievably happy. anyone who knows me knows that is where the other part of my heart is along with my little malley girl. music and dance is my ultimate serenity. and i am not going to forget that no matter what.

like i said just wanted to blog a bit. i am going to try and get back into this. although next quarter i will have 4 classes plus a full time job. so i will try. :) stay tuned my 3 viewers... you know who you are ;)